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For nineteenth century elites, seeking a partner for their children represented a defining moment for the financial and patrimonial situation of families. The candidate had to meet criteria of wealth, worthiness, virtue and health. Getting access to this information was difficult given the period’s protection of familial privacy. In this context, some Catholic families chose to resort to a spiritual advisor in order to settle the negotiations, given that the latter had access to confidential information concerning other families. He could then use his influence to support the interests of a family and to weigh on the choices of young people and their relatives. This article studies the role of Monseigneur Dupanloup in the arrangements of Marie and René de Menthon’s marriage. It explores the ambiguity of the prelate’s role in relation to Madame de Menthon’s expectation that he would filter the kind of information he could or could not reveal. Spiritual direction emerges here as being torn between social demand and the requirements of spiritual secret. The advisor was at the centre of a network, which conveyed information related to the “matrimonial market.” This network was built by women who were the families’ main business managers when it came to marriage.