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Abstract Aim To identify and synthesize the evidence base regarding children and adolescents’ preferences for support when living with a dying parent. Design Integrative literature review study. Methods Searches were conducted in PubMed, CINAHL, PsycINFO, the Cochrane Library, Sociological Abstracts and Scopus, between 1 October 2019 and May 2021. Data were analysed and synthesized using integrative thematic analysis according to the analysis stages specified by Whittermore and Knafl. Results Twenty‐two articles were identified. Children and adolescents’ preferences for support were described through one overarching theme, Striving to achieve control and balance, together with six subthemes; “Involvement in the sick parent's care and treatment”; “Wanting to be with the sick parent but needing respite”; “Information must be continuous and individually adapted”; “emotional and communicative support from parents and family members”; “professional, compassionate and informative support”; and “support in friendships and opportunities to maintain normality.”